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Writings on the common topics, models, and approaches
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Anxious Attachment in Relationships: (Part Two) — The Analysis
Part Two of a story illustrating and analysing how anxious attachment feels in a relationship.


Anxious Attachment in Relationships: (Part One) How it Feels From the Inside
An illustrative story of how an anxiously attached person might experience relationships. The first companion post to the Avoidant Attachment: What's Really Going On Inside series.


Can Anxious and Avoidant Relationships Work?
Can relationships work when one person has an anxious attachment style and the other has an avoidant attachment style?


Why do Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles Attract?
Understand two of the most common reasons people with anxious and avoidant attachment styles attract one another.


Avoidant Attachment: What's Really Going On Inside (Part Two — The Analysis)
Part two of a two part story and clinical analysis illustrating the internal experience of someone who is avoidantly attached in a relationship.


Avoidant Attachment: What's Really Going On Inside (Part One)
An illustrative story of what's going on inside for an avoidantly attached person in a relatonship.


What Causes Avoidant Attachment? Childhood Experiences that Can Create Avoidant Adults.
Learn about the common childhood experiences that can create an avoidant attachment style.


What it Feels Like to Love an Avoidant Partner (especially if you're anxiously attached)
Perhaps your relationship started off so promising. When you were first dating, you were excited. Your new person seemed so into you. It was fun, kinda hot, probably. How could this person possibly be single? Sure, maybe you'd heard about their heartbreaker reputation. Or their ex was crazy. Or they were absolutely locked into their study or career so of course they didn't have time for a serious relationship. And of course, they hadn't met you yet. Well, maybe there were a f


What it Feels Like to Have an Avoidant Attachment Style
If you're wondering if you might have an avoidant attachment style, or trying to understand the thinking of a partner who does, this article begins to explain how an avoidantly attached person might think about and experience relationships. Important Note: Always remember that attachment style labels are broad categories, and every person is an individual. You or your partner may or may not relate to some or all of the ideas below. How an avoidantly attached person might thin


Relationship Dynamics: The Pursuer Distancer Cycle and Solutions
The pursuer-distancer dynamic is a cycle in which one partner wants to move towards connection or conflict resolution, while the other desires space and autonomy.


6 Reasons Why Couples Therapy Might Not Work, and What to Do About Them
A therapist's insight into why couples therapy might not work, and what to do about it.


Attachment Styles: How they Impact Dating, Love and Friendships
Learn about the origins of the four attachment styles from attachment theory and how you can recognise them in relationships.


Are Relationships Supposed to Be Hard?
Are relationships supposed to be hard? How much work should a relationship be? And what are you supposed to work on anyway? Firstly: Yes, healthy, close relationships do take work, and sometimes that will be hard. And - relationships shouldn’t always be hard, because that means issues aren’t being dealt with effectively. Relationships should overall add value to your life, not be a constant source of drain and stress. Despite the romantic notion, love is not enough and cann


How To Talk About Money With Your Partner: Tackling 3 Common Challenges in Financial Conversations
Sex and money. Two of the most common sources of conflict and disconnect between couples. Both can be sensitive and complex topics in any relationship, triggering emotions, past experiences, judgements, expectations, and power dynamics. They often link to deep-seated beliefs and fears which make it understandably difficult to stay calm and open to each other’s views. Open and honest communication strategies that can withstand any topic are crucial for building a strong, lasti


How to Apologise to Heal Hearts, Repair Trust, and Strengthen Bonds
Learn the structure of an effective apology to repair relationships or patch up after an argument.


The Power of Healthy Boundaries: Staying Protected and Connected in Relationships
What boundaries are and the different types, and how to distinguish boundaries vs expectations.


Hyper-Independence in Relationships: Origins, Consequences, and the Link to Avoidant Attachment
Learn what hyper-independence looks like in relationships and how it impacts, where hyper-independence comes from, and how it can link to an avoidant attachment style.


Recognising and Managing Codependency: Nurturing Healthy Relationships and Personal Wellbeing
Explore the concept of codependency, its potential consequences, and ways to break free from codependent patterns.


Interdependence: Building Strong and Fulfilling Relationships
In our current times, we are often reminded of the importance of independence and self-reliance, especially in Western cultures. While these qualities are indeed valuable, it downplays the strength and beauty that lie in our connections with others. The concept of interdependence in romantic partnerships balances extremes of dependence or independence. It recognises that we are individuals with unique strengths and needs, while acknowledging the opportunity and growth that a


Why do we keep having the same old fight?
Regardless of the content, most couples tend to have a same, repetitive fight (or three) that they return to over and over again. Why do I have to do everything around here?! Because if I do it it's never up to your standard! Just tell me what you want me to do! You’re so controlling! Well I wouldn’t have to be, if I could trust you to be reliable! It’s like I can never do anything right by you! Well you would get things right, if you’d just think about someone other than y
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