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What secure attachment in adults looks like in relationships, how it relates to trust, and how it is involved in healthy relationships.

Part Two of a story illustrating and analysing how anxious attachment feels in a relationship.

An illustrative story of how an anxiously attached person might experience relationships. The first companion post to the Avoidant Attachment: What's Really Going On Inside series.

Imagine it’s your birth day today, the very first day you arrive on the outside. There’s a person or two to take you home and whether they realise it (or are ready to) or not, they’re about to start shaping the adult you become. Their job on top of that, is to keep you alive until you’re old enough to do it yourself. Your job, as a brand new being, is to do the things that encourage the people to meet your needs. Early on, you’re running on pure instinct. You make the noise

If you're wondering if you might have an avoidant attachment style, or trying to understand the thinking of a partner who does, this article begins to explain how an avoidantly attached person might think about and experience relationships. Important Note: Always remember that attachment style labels are broad categories, and every person is an individual. You or your partner may or may not relate to some or all of the ideas below. How an avoidantly attached person might thin

The pursuer-distancer dynamic is a cycle in which one partner wants to move towards connection or conflict resolution, while the other desires space and autonomy.

Learn about the origins of the four attachment styles from attachment theory and how you can recognise them in relationships.

The inner critic is the name given to an internal voice that pops up with mean, judgmental, disempowering thoughts. Yours might appear when you’ve made a mistake, are feeling embarrassed, or are trying to stretch yourself and learn something new. It might even arrive when things are going well, cautioning you not to get too comfortable or expect any success to last. The message of the inner critic often veers into out-and-out bully territory. It’s not just offering criticis

Why you might feel anxious for no reason, and what to do if this happens.

The emotion of guilt makes a frequent appearance in my sessions with clients. Some are visited by feelings of guilt almost daily. Guilt (or the avoidance of it, because it is so unpleasant), determines their choices, actions, and how they spend their time. When it drives decision-making, it is also often followed hotly by obligation and its twin, resentment. This post explores the ideas of appropriate and inappropriate guilt, as well as the difference between guilt and shame.

How to uncover the sense of self-worth that's been hidden but never left you.

Explore the concept of codependency, its potential consequences, and ways to break free from codependent patterns.

Insomnia. Racing heart. Shortness of breath. Sweating. Ruminating on social interactions, both before and after they happen. Saying no to invitations and new experiences. Any of these sound familiar? Or all of them? Anxiety is probably the most common issue my individual clients present with, and it’s something I have first-hand experience with myself. These days, I’d say my anxiety generally operates within the ‘range of normal’ — it doesn’t paralyse me or interrupt m