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What secure attachment in adults looks like in relationships, how it relates to trust, and how it is involved in healthy relationships.

Part Two of a story illustrating and analysing how anxious attachment feels in a relationship.

An illustrative story of how an anxiously attached person might experience relationships. The first companion post to the Avoidant Attachment: What's Really Going On Inside series.

Imagine it’s your birth day today, the very first day you arrive on the outside. There’s a person or two to take you home and whether they realise it (or are ready to) or not, they’re about to start shaping the adult you become. Their job on top of that, is to keep you alive until you’re old enough to do it yourself. Your job, as a brand new being, is to do the things that encourage the people to meet your needs. Early on, you’re running on pure instinct. You make the noise

Can relationships work when one person has an anxious attachment style and the other has an avoidant attachment style?

Understand two of the most common reasons people with anxious and avoidant attachment styles attract one another.

An illustrative story of what's going on inside for an avoidantly attached person in a relatonship.

Learn about the common childhood experiences that can create an avoidant attachment style.

If you're wondering if you might have an avoidant attachment style, or trying to understand the thinking of a partner who does, this article begins to explain how an avoidantly attached person might think about and experience relationships. Important Note: Always remember that attachment style labels are broad categories, and every person is an individual. You or your partner may or may not relate to some or all of the ideas below. How an avoidantly attached person might thin

What "processing" something in therapy actually means, and why it is so helpful.

Learn about the origins of the four attachment styles from attachment theory and how you can recognise them in relationships.

The inner critic is the name given to an internal voice that pops up with mean, judgmental, disempowering thoughts. Yours might appear when you’ve made a mistake, are feeling embarrassed, or are trying to stretch yourself and learn something new. It might even arrive when things are going well, cautioning you not to get too comfortable or expect any success to last. The message of the inner critic often veers into out-and-out bully territory. It’s not just offering criticis

Feeling overwhelmed? Learn why you need to take care of your own wellbeing, starting now.

Why you might feel anxious for no reason, and what to do if this happens.

Spending compulsively – characterised by an uncontrollable urge to make purchases – can be anything from a behaviour that limits a person’s financial progress all the way to a habit that is as destructive as an addiction. Compulsive spending has been made even easier in the digital age as we shop online from any location and at any hour of the day or night. In this article, we will explore the underlying causes of compulsive shopping, its detrimental effects, and effective st

The emotion of guilt makes a frequent appearance in my sessions with clients. Some are visited by feelings of guilt almost daily. Guilt (or the avoidance of it, because it is so unpleasant), determines their choices, actions, and how they spend their time. When it drives decision-making, it is also often followed hotly by obligation and its twin, resentment. This post explores the ideas of appropriate and inappropriate guilt, as well as the difference between guilt and shame.

Learn the structure of an effective apology to repair relationships or patch up after an argument.

How to uncover the sense of self-worth that's been hidden but never left you.

Discerning and setting your boundaries, how to use the concept of internal and external boundaries effectively, and boundary maintenance strategies.

Learn what hyper-independence looks like in relationships and how it impacts, where hyper-independence comes from, and how it can link to an avoidant attachment style.