<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Therapy Co.]]></title><description><![CDATA[Therapy Co.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Wed, 15 Jul 2026 17:13:07 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.therapyco.co.nz/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Hyper-Independence in Relationships: Origins, Consequences, and the Link to Avoidant Attachment]]></title><description><![CDATA[Learn what hyper-independence looks like in relationships and how it impacts, where hyper-independence comes from, and how it can link to an avoidant attachment style.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/striking-a-balance-exploring-excessive-independence-in-relationships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf031369</guid><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 10 Jul 2023 05:38:50 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_f7c85b2d2731406682fe5f8402441758~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What Does Secure Attachment Look Like in Relationships?]]></title><description><![CDATA[What secure attachment in adults looks like in relationships, how it relates to trust, and how it is involved in healthy relationships.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/what-does-secure-attachment-feel-like-in-relationships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0cb019bec94c9fb6e29f35</guid><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Tue, 19 May 2026 20:04:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_da06867c0e2048238bc0ebf1d39c40ce~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Anxious Attachment in Relationships: (Part Two) — The Analysis]]></title><description><![CDATA[Part Two of a story illustrating and analysing how anxious attachment feels in a relationship.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/anxious-attachment-in-relationships-part-two-the-analysis</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a03f964618ba45174fe4581</guid><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 15 May 2026 06:11:04 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_b065b13bce364df085652102b71de7b9~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Anxious Attachment in Relationships: (Part One) How it Feels From the Inside]]></title><description><![CDATA[An illustrative story of how an anxiously attached person might experience relationships. The first companion post to the Avoidant Attachment: What's Really Going On Inside series.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/anxious-attachment-in-relationships-how-it-feels-from-the-inside</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a026044618ba45174fae060</guid><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Tue, 12 May 2026 20:34:27 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_b7d180c56e7e4b778c3416de9d64f907~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What Creates Anxious Attachment? Childhood Experiences that can Create Anxiously Attached Adults]]></title><description><![CDATA[Imagine it’s your birth day today, the very first day you arrive on the outside. There’s a person or two to take you home and whether they realise it (or are ready to) or not, they’re about to start shaping the adult you become.   Their job on top of that, is to keep you alive until you’re old enough to do it yourself. Your job, as a brand new being, is to do the things that encourage the people to meet your needs. Early on, you’re running on pure instinct. You make the noises that your...]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/what-creates-anxious-attachment-childhood-experiences-that-can-create-anxiously-attached-adults</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69fcd04b666cfccd94178296</guid><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Sat, 09 May 2026 20:01:08 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_1f86512c17a5485b8eee9f96fec05c1f~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Can Anxious and Avoidant Relationships Work?]]></title><description><![CDATA[Can relationships work when one person has an anxious attachment style and the other has an avoidant attachment style?]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/can-anxious-and-avoidant-relationships-work</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69f8d9335caf4ed272baaceb</guid><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2026 20:05:09 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_b2aedb2c38384b19a9d43db70a798324~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Why do Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles Attract?]]></title><description><![CDATA[Understand two of the most common reasons people with anxious and avoidant attachment styles attract one another.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/why-do-anxious-and-avoidant-attachment-styles-attract</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69f452d290b4365cb85f6161</guid><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Tue, 05 May 2026 21:00:25 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_c4bc7a69342048369069e6a9f52c3453~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Avoidant Attachment: What's Really Going On Inside (Part Two — The Analysis)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Part two of a two part story and clinical analysis illustrating the internal experience of someone who is avoidantly attached in a relationship.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/avoidant-attachment-what-s-really-going-on-inside-part-two-the-analysis</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69f254157475e016cb977635</guid><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Sun, 03 May 2026 22:00:14 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_048e4e9dc9464c2aba6e6e7a91ec2d62~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Avoidant Attachment: What's Really Going On Inside (Part One)]]></title><description><![CDATA[An illustrative story of what's going on inside for an avoidantly attached person in a relatonship.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/avoidant-attachment-what-s-really-going-on-inside-part-one</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69f11be824f9d3e5cd713761</guid><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 29 Apr 2026 19:06:56 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_7f67412b007d405b848e2f27dde9abb6~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What Causes Avoidant Attachment? Childhood Experiences that Can Create Avoidant Adults.]]></title><description><![CDATA[Learn about the common childhood experiences that can create an avoidant attachment style.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/what-causes-avoidant-attachment-childhood-experiences-that-can-create-avoidant-adults</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69f06da57475e016cb936846</guid><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2026 18:46:29 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_730551ff4cd84cafa6aa203a17f28435~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What it Feels Like to Love an Avoidant Partner (especially if you're anxiously attached)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Perhaps your relationship started off so promising. When you were first dating, you were excited. Your new person seemed so into you. It was fun, kinda hot, probably. How could this person possibly be single? Sure, maybe you'd heard about their heartbreaker reputation. Or their ex was crazy. Or they were absolutely locked into their study or career so of course they didn't have time for a serious relationship. And of course, they hadn't met you yet. Well, maybe there were a few signs. The...]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/what-it-feels-like-to-love-an-avoidant-partner</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69efe22ed3f2ae6dd912310a</guid><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2026 01:56:35 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_98fadff1fcab45d5a4ae9dabace2161f~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What it Feels Like to Have an Avoidant Attachment Style ]]></title><description><![CDATA[If you're wondering if you might have an avoidant attachment style, or trying to understand the thinking of a partner who does, this article begins to explain how an avoidantly attached person might think about and experience relationships. Important Note: Always remember that attachment style labels are broad categories, and every person is an individual. You or your partner may or may not relate to some or all of the ideas below. How an avoidantly attached person might think about...]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/what-it-feels-like-to-have-an-avoidant-attachment-style</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf031365</guid><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 27 Apr 2026 01:29:37 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_756db34db2424586b2aebfe22c1c9b86~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Relationship Dynamics: The Pursuer Distancer Cycle and Solutions]]></title><description><![CDATA[The pursuer-distancer dynamic is a cycle in which one partner wants to move towards connection or conflict resolution, while the other desires space and autonomy.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/relationship-dynamics-the-pursuer-distancer-cycle-and-solutions</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf031355</guid><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><pubDate>Sun, 15 Sep 2024 21:37:52 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_da8a7e12282642939920470bc6c63358~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[6 Reasons Why Couples Therapy Might Not Work, and What to Do About Them]]></title><description><![CDATA[A therapist's insight into why couples therapy might not work, and what to do about it.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/6-reasons-why-couples-therapy-might-not-work-and-what-to-do-about-them</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf031364</guid><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 26 Aug 2024 23:29:14 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_59e57e654561404da04edccfcb09c949~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What does it mean to "process" something in therapy?]]></title><description><![CDATA[What "processing" something in therapy actually means, and why it is so helpful.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/what-does-it-mean-to-process-something-in-therapy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf031353</guid><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[therapy approaches]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 14 Aug 2024 00:00:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_ebed481566c349b0a0cbc6dc97dae025~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Attachment Styles: How they Impact Dating, Love and Friendships]]></title><description><![CDATA[Learn about the origins of the four attachment styles from attachment theory and how you can recognise them in relationships.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/attachment-styles-how-they-impact-dating-love-and-friendships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf031368</guid><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><category><![CDATA[attachment theory]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 05 Aug 2024 00:00:17 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_389e5f2bfbcd4c259ed5f83248250941~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Disarming the Inner Critic: Two Strategies for Beating the Bully]]></title><description><![CDATA[The inner critic is the name given to an internal voice that pops up with mean, judgmental, disempowering thoughts. Yours might appear when you’ve made a mistake, are feeling embarrassed, or are trying to stretch yourself and learn something new. It might even arrive when things are going well, cautioning you not to get too comfortable or expect any success to last.   The message of the inner critic often veers into out-and-out bully territory. It’s not just offering criticism (and certainly...]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/disarming-the-inner-critic-two-strategies-for-beating-the-bully</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf03135d</guid><category><![CDATA[self worth]]></category><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 31 Jul 2024 00:00:18 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_41c452cb376249b0b2ba4ad722c1b2b6~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[No-one is Going to Force You to Take Care of Yourself]]></title><description><![CDATA[Feeling overwhelmed? Learn why you need to take care of your own wellbeing, starting now.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/no-one-is-going-to-force-you-to-take-care-of-yourself</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf031361</guid><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><pubDate>Sun, 28 Jul 2024 07:00:32 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_8700b34ee74649e99a3d662912a99765~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Are Relationships Supposed to Be Hard?]]></title><description><![CDATA[Are relationships supposed to be hard? How much work should a relationship be? And what are you supposed to work on anyway? Firstly: Yes, healthy, close relationships do take work, and sometimes that will be hard.   And — relationships shouldn’t always be hard, because that means issues aren’t being dealt with effectively. Relationships should overall add value to your life, not be a constant source of drain and stress. Despite the romantic notion, love is not enough and cannot be the only...]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/are-relationships-supposed-to-be-hard</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf031360</guid><category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category><pubDate>Tue, 23 Jul 2024 05:48:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_635c453d5cb6479cbe18c141fe461007~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Anxious for No Reason? Check These 4 Things]]></title><description><![CDATA[Why you might feel anxious for no reason, and what to do if this happens.]]></description><link>https://www.therapyco.co.nz/post/anxious-for-no-reason</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69ef2cfaca5d9eb5bf03136a</guid><category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category><category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 03 Jul 2024 23:24:01 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/08205b_5b4629c182d24fb895801f6675f68fd4~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Averil Lagerman</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>