Blog

Writings on the common topics, models, and approaches

in my therapy practice.

What Does Secure Attachment Look Like in Relationships?

What secure attachment in adults looks like in relationships, how it relates to trust, and how it is involved in healthy relationships.

Can Anxious and Avoidant Relationships Work?

Can relationships work when one person has an anxious attachment style and the other has an avoidant attachment style?

What it Feels Like to Love an Avoidant Partner (especially if you're anxiously attached)

Perhaps your relationship started off so promising. When you were first dating, you were excited. Your new person seemed so into you. It was fun, kinda hot, probably. How could this person possibly be single? Sure, maybe you'd heard about their heartbreaker reputation. Or their ex was crazy. Or they were absolutely locked into their study or career so of course they didn't have time for a serious relationship. And of course, they hadn't met you yet. Well, maybe there were a f

Are Relationships Supposed to Be Hard?

Are relationships supposed to be hard? How much work should a relationship be? And what are you supposed to work on anyway? Firstly: Yes, healthy, close relationships do take work, and sometimes that will be hard. And - relationships shouldn’t always be hard, because that means issues aren’t being dealt with effectively. Relationships should overall add value to your life, not be a constant source of drain and stress. Despite the romantic notion, love is not enough and cann

The Power of Healthy Boundaries: Staying Protected and Connected in Relationships

What boundaries are and the different types, and how to distinguish boundaries vs expectations.

Hyper-Independence in Relationships: Origins, Consequences, and the Link to Avoidant Attachment

Learn what hyper-independence looks like in relationships and how it impacts, where hyper-independence comes from, and how it can link to an avoidant attachment style.

Recognising and Managing Codependency: Nurturing Healthy Relationships and Personal Wellbeing

Explore the concept of codependency, its potential consequences, and ways to break free from codependent patterns.

Interdependence: Building Strong and Fulfilling Relationships

In our current times, we are often reminded of the importance of independence and self-reliance, especially in Western cultures. While these qualities are indeed valuable, it downplays the strength and beauty that lie in our connections with others. The concept of interdependence in romantic partnerships balances extremes of dependence or independence. It recognises that we are individuals with unique strengths and needs, while acknowledging the opportunity and growth that a